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Whose mirror is that anyway?

Posted in starchiksix

Today, I got my feelings hurt. Let me tell y’all this turning 30 thing has taught me a lot.

So, I thought I was a fun-loving, cool, down-to-earth, cute type of girl. Today, I realized I am still all of those things but also a little insecure and sensitive.

I work in a doctor’s office. We are frequented with pharmaceutical reps. Usually we are inundated with Barbie chicks with the annoying laugh and flip of the hair as they flirt with my boss. Or sometimes the reps who look like old Vegas hookers and are pushy and maybe should’ve had a free make-up consultation in the nearest department store. Or the “curls for gurls” gym rat guys, who think they are just “the shit!”

I have a select few whom I call acquaintances and don’t think horrible things about. One in particular, we will call him Mr. T.

Mr. T and I have been talking for the last year as he comes in to call on my doc. Always jokes, fantasy football talk, weather, celebs, but mostly jokes. He walked in today, we exchanged friendly banter. He went to check samples and came back and asked, “Um, are you burnt?”

I said,” EXCUSE ME.”

He says, “Your skin, you look sun burnt.”

After I picked my stomach, heart, and lip up off the ground. I nicely let him know that I suffer from a skin condition for 10 years and my skin is always like this when I don’t wear makeup. (I happened to be black, so it shows up more.) Then. THEN! THEN!!!!! He said, “It brings out your um…your um….Well, it makes your face looked rounder.”¬† Instead of being the smart ass that I am, I quickly told him to have a nice day and turned away fighting back tears.

I have always had high or at least normal self-esteem. It took less than 30 seconds to bring me to a reality. The reality was that people don’t think before they speak. My skin is my hugest insecurity about myself. It’s something I have struggled with for years. Something I try to hide. Loads of Maybeline foundation, with my stylish wigs with bangs, bright lip sticks-anything to take away from my vitiligo and tinea versicolor.

This guy managed to hurt my feelings because he was ignorant and insensitive. It reminded me there are a lot of qualities about myself that I haven’t realized. A ton more to learn.
I thought once I turned 21, I would rule the world with all my knowledge. After this feeling of disgust, embarrassment, and Lord knows what else, I went and looked at old pictures of myself. I’m not gonna lie, I was what the rappers describe as a bad bitch, even with my skin issues. It made me feel great.
Later, I went to the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror and smiled. Said out loud, “Girl, you’re tripping, you’re still a bad bitch.” Then I remembered Michael Jackson had vitiligo and was an absolute musical God, phenomenal dancer, and many other things…. But most of all was an overall bad ass.
Thank you to that rep for bringing me down, although maybe not on purpose, and allowing me the opportunity to pick myself up.
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4 Comments

  1. justachik1
    justachik1

    I loved everything about this, but I especially loved the last line. Awesomeness.

    P.S. Everyone knows you are the hottest bad bitch around. It’s been proven.

    October 7, 2015
    |Reply
  2. starchiksix
    starchiksix

    Thanks chix. Not letting anyone keep me down. It was a nice time for me to learn my truth.

    October 7, 2015
    |Reply
  3. ChickNorris29
    ChickNorris29

    I was totally into this story before you mentioned Michael Jackson, but now I’m kind of obsessed with you…….not gonna lie. I bet that idiot guy felt worse than you did. Everyone has a “thing” that they think sucks about themselves, even guys. A girl once asked me if my nose was broken. It has never been broken. A relative recently told me my boyfriend’s boobs are bigger than mine. Talk about a realization!

    Long live Micheal Jackson!!!!!!! You kick ass.

    October 6, 2015
    |Reply
  4. luckychix22
    luckychix22

    don’t let one asshole bring you down! my sister has vitiligo and she is the most beautiful person i know. always remember you ARE that bad bitch <3

    October 6, 2015
    |Reply

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