Today, I got my feelings hurt. Let me tell y’all this turning 30 thing has taught me a lot.
So, I thought I was a fun-loving, cool, down-to-earth, cute type of girl. Today, I realized I am still all of those things but also a little insecure and sensitive.
I work in a doctor’s office. We are frequented with pharmaceutical reps. Usually we are inundated with Barbie chicks with the annoying laugh and flip of the hair as they flirt with my boss. Or sometimes the reps who look like old Vegas hookers and are pushy and maybe should’ve had a free make-up consultation in the nearest department store. Or the “curls for gurls” gym rat guys, who think they are just “the shit!”
I have a select few whom I call acquaintances and don’t think horrible things about. One in particular, we will call him Mr. T.
Mr. T and I have been talking for the last year as he comes in to call on my doc. Always jokes, fantasy football talk, weather, celebs, but mostly jokes. He walked in today, we exchanged friendly banter. He went to check samples and came back and asked, “Um, are you burnt?”
I said,” EXCUSE ME.”
He says, “Your skin, you look sun burnt.”
After I picked my stomach, heart, and lip up off the ground. I nicely let him know that I suffer from a skin condition for 10 years and my skin is always like this when I don’t wear makeup. (I happened to be black, so it shows up more.) Then. THEN! THEN!!!!! He said, “It brings out your um…your um….Well, it makes your face looked rounder.” Instead of being the smart ass that I am, I quickly told him to have a nice day and turned away fighting back tears.
I have always had high or at least normal self-esteem. It took less than 30 seconds to bring me to a reality. The reality was that people don’t think before they speak. My skin is my hugest insecurity about myself. It’s something I have struggled with for years. Something I try to hide. Loads of Maybeline foundation, with my stylish wigs with bangs, bright lip sticks-anything to take away from my vitiligo and tinea versicolor.