I dated my husband for five years before he proposed. For at least four of those years, my life consisted of “When is he going to propose?!” and “You aren’t going to wait forever!” Really? If I make the decision to spend the rest of my life with someone, they are clearly worth waiting for, right? I always found that so stupid.
Regardless, that time in my life is finally over! We tied the knot. No sooner than AT MY WEDDING RECEPTION did the next phase in my life begin- the “When are you going to have kids?” chapter. The proposal phase was cake. I knew it was coming and I was confident he would ask. However, kids- this is a whole new level. I’ll never forget when it started, “Sweetheart, I heard you are going to wait five years to have kids,” I hear my grandmother whisper to me in between dances. “Yep, that’s the plan!” I quickly reply.
“But Sweetheart, I might not live that long.” Whoa. No. She. Didn’t.
Why is there such a need to reproduce instantly? Can’t I enjoy my life without crying and screaming and poopy diapers and sticky everything? Don’t get me wrong, I love kids and I want them someday. Today is not that day. Why is that not okay with people? Why do people care?
I can ask a coworker, “Guess what!?” Without fail, “Oh my God, you’re pregnant!” Whoa. No again.
When did it become socially acceptable to discuss a woman’s reproductive organs to her without her permission? I have had one family member tell me she read my eggs were getting old in Reader’s Digest. Call me crazy, but how did Reader’s Digest know about my eggs? I had another family member tell me my prime to have kids was when I was 18 so I was already 7 years past due. PAST DUE. Like I am a disgusting carton of rotting milk. I am not a dairy section in a supermarket. I am a person. I even had someone tell me “I already had 2 kids by the time I was your age.” Congratu-freakin-lations. Sorry I decided not to pursue teen pregnancy. Wow- you dumb.
Everyone does it differently. I personally know someone who had kids at 15 and I know someone who had kids at 40. I also know people who decided not to have children at all, and those who adopted. There is no right or wrong here. But all I ask is that the world lets me pursue what is right for me and my husband.
What if when we are ready, we can’t have kids? The last thing I want is to tell nosey family members or coworkers about something so personal. Why must I defend my life choices to the world? If we make the choice to bring a real human person into this world, you best believe we will be as prepared as possible. If this means waiting and enjoying each other first, so be it. Because the next time someone asks me if I am pregnant…
“Nope. Just getting fat. Thanks, Bitch.”