I am the Queen…. Of queefing, that is.
A queef is simply trapped air in your vagina coming back out. Or as I call it: awkward.
The other night, I was straddling my boyfriend after sex and I moved just the right way and phhhttttttttttt. I queefed right there. On his stomach. I was MORTIFIED. He was totally cool about it, he gets that it’s uncontrollable, BUT STILL. I vagina-farted ON HIM. I’m blushing while typing this, I just can’t get over it.
Fellow Chix, help me out! It happens after each time we have sex, no matter the position. This isn’t just a recent problem, it has happened ever since I started doing the dirty, back in the day. I know that it’s going to happen but is there anything that helps?? I’d prefer my vagina didn’t make noises that sound like a nice, wet fart. And it’s not just the noise! It doesn’t come out quickly, more like a solid 5-10 second queef. If it were a fart and it was under different circumstances, I’d actually be pretty damn proud of it but it’s not!!!
Someone give me terms of endearment, words of wisdom, anything! Or let me know if I’m shit outta luck.
Peace and Love,