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The Dark Side

Posted in Chic#5

This is my life…

I do not consider myself to be “old” by any means, but…as I have aged over the years (and not like a fine wine), shit just doesn’t look the same anymore.  It’s like I am at this in-between stage of life where I feel like I am still in my 20s but can definitely see the latter end of the 30s slowly showing its ugly face, no pun intended.  And this ladies, is not so easy to accept.

The wrinkles, stretch marks, and inevitable “pooch” – YUCK!

That’s when I realize we live in a world, the 21st century, where we can magically make those dreaded bodily malfunctions disappear.  Now that I think about it, I’ve been altering my appearance since I was a teenager –coloring my hair that is, and tanning on occasion.  Living in Minnesota, you have limited access to the sun and “pasty white” is not a flattering skin tone on an Italian woman.  Did it make me feel better about myself at that age, yes, I think so.

Isn’t that the point of any type of adjustments or revisions we put our bodies through, to feel better about ourselves?  I mean if you really think about it, our bodies are like a beautifully designed piece of architecture, at least at the beginning.  Our genes represent the blueprint and once they are sketched into the perfect position, and no more red lines needed, the building is ready to be constructed, hence we are born.  As time passes, each brick, window and beam start to display signs of weathering, the carpet becomes outdated, furniture and supplies need to be replaced….So why is the human body any different?  Every once in a while, we too, need to go through a renovation.

At the age of 21, I decided it was time for another a “repair” project.  You see, in my family, all of us girls were blessed with the genetics of a protruding stomach (a.k.a. the gut).  I was so tired of looking down while taking a shower, and never being able to see my crotch unless I sucked in till I just about passed out.  There were even a few times people congratulated me on my new baby bump…ugh.  That’s it…I found a great plastic surgeon, went through with the consultation, and a month later, they were sucking 6 lbs of fat out of my stomach and flanks (I sound like a horse).  Other than having to wear a girdle for the next 6 weeks, best decision I ever made.

While I continued to update the paint on my building by coloring my hair a few different shades over the years, my next big project was one of art – a few tattoos to decorate the exterior of the structure – one may also refer to it as a bit of graffiti.  I told myself I would never get a tattoo unless it really meant something to me, and with that came a pair of winged ankles to remind me of my passion for running.  Motivating me to stay in shape and get my ass to the gym!

Which brings me to the present…a building that was designed and built over 30 years ago, with a few updates along the way…is starting to show signs of distress.  My damn forehead is full of wrinkles and it makes me look old.  In fact, I have made it a point to style my hair to cover the creases that are increasingly getting deeper across the top of my head and digging their way, like a shovel through snow, into my brow – thank god for bangs!  I decided to hire a contractor (dermatologist) to fill in the cracks.  Yep, BOTOX was the answer.  Just a few injections and POOF, wrinkles gone.  As I was departing the construction site, the Dr. looked at me with a huge grin stretched across his face and said, “Welcome to the Dark Side.”  If that is the case, then hand me my light saber and cape Mr. Vader (as in Darth Vader), I am coming home.  Until my next remodeling project (or scheduled BOTOX injection)…

…this is my life

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2 Comments

  1. justachik1
    justachik1

    Embrace the Dark Side. I hear they have cookies.

    And do what makes you feel better about you.

    P.S. Save me a cookie. I’m on my way.

    November 28, 2015
    |Reply
  2. ChickNorris29
    ChickNorris29

    Haha I love this!

    November 23, 2015
    |Reply

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