I stumbled into it; Motherhood.
I didn’t seek it out.
When it happened to me, I could only crawl through it, raising both myself and my sons at the same time.
20s feel similar to adolescence, except you are the parent. Couple that with raising another human being – Doable, but so damn difficult.
All my sons’ lives thus far, I’ve never felt completely capable or worthy of being their Mom. If the overworked, squeaky wheels inside every mothers head were visible, I’m sure we all feel that way. Often. Yet, one of the greatest truths I’ve learned as a Mom is, we are all just trying our best.
I have given more grace to other Moms after becoming a Mom. I believe we all inherently want our children to feel loved and valued in a world that doesn’t feel very loving or pass out gold stars liberally to instill value in its constituents. All moms fear raising children who don’t love well. Who don’t finish school. Who don’t have ambition.
I just want my children to grow up to be human beings who love strangers. Please, let them have that heart of mine.
My boys have shown me every little thing I’ve never wanted to know about myself. Revealed beautiful things about who I am. Things I would have never seen otherwise. They are my largest mirror, my deepest fears, and my greatest joy.
Raising a human being is a heavy honor. Whether you’re considering it, new to it, or have been at it for decades, I wish you grace. The same grace I wish for myself:
I want to brush you off when you inevitably have your first parenting screw up (and your twentieth and fiftieth). Remind you not to freak out when they rip that wad of gum off the bottom of the restaurant booth and pop it in their mouth (Seriously, it’s okay, I’m positive we have vaccines or antibiotics for that). I want to be there for you, as others have been there for me, reminding you that you can do better when you can. But, even if you don’t, you’re still doing an amazing job. You are.
Parenting is hard enough without beating ourselves up over our shortcomings. Maybe we can all just get real grown up and hand out more grace to ourselves and all the other imperfect mothers out there who have the great honor and heavy duty of raising up little humans.
Hell, let’s start a Mother Grace revolution.