I had a work meeting very recently.
The owners of our company revealed our company, in so many words, has been bought out.
This has been life altering in the few hours that I’ve had this knowledge.
Let’s be honest, I don’t think I’m ready for change. I can hardly pick out what scrubs I want to wear for the day, to wear a wig or not, or even what to have for dinner on most days.
I feel like I can’t breathe. I can’t concentrate. By 8:06, it was fuck this shit o’clock.
We are told about raises and better benefits. Hooray. There’s some laughter about drug tests and how we have 6 months to get it out of our system. I’m still not sure if they were telling us to do drugs or don’t do anymore, but that’s not the point….Or is it.
I was okay at first. I gave myself a pep talk. This is ok, I’ll be fine. I know I have coworkers who are, well let me be blunt, shitting bricks. Some don’t have the exact degree that’s a requirement. Some were young and dumb and had misdemeanor convictions. Some, in my opinion, just don’t know what the hell they are going and I’m surprised they made it this long.
Anyhow, Ms. Executive HR lady says….by the way you have to reapply and interview for your own job. Um, huh, what the hell? I was good until then.
I’m not sure if I shut down for a period of time or if the meeting really ended that quickly, but I feel like I have no answers. The big wigs left and we peons were left to ponder our future.
I have been at this job 7 years. They’ve watched me laugh, cry, be immature, grow. These people are family to me. A dysfunctional one but a family none the less (is that one word). I am emotional just thinking that some won’t make it with the new changes.
But that brings me to my point. Change is, can, may, may not be difficult. I don’t believe it’s only difficult for older people. I’m still a tenderoni, at the very vibrant age of 30, and I feel like I have lost all control.
This change can affect some of my longest and most meaningful relationships. I am not ready to face this. I feel like a 15 year old girl who just broke up with her boyfriend.
But this change for me can mean a better company with better benefits. Opportunity for schooling. Opportunity for being a new employee somewhere different. Opportunity for a new family. Opportunity to be closer and more flexible for my real at home family.
I don’t know what the future holds for me. I think at this time in my life, CHANGE may be good. It will make me grow, in some way.
Who knows, maybe I’ll feel better in the morning. Maybe I’ll feel that I was in a rut or stagnant and this change will be for the better. Maybe I’ll be more upset with my bosses because this change wasn’t under my control.
Either way, the thing about this change, is that I will never know until it happens. I’ll just have to wait and see.