I just got back from a GREAT weekend with a group of girlfriends and their families. Some of the families, we have been friends for years and others are fairly new to the fold. During the weekend, we laughed and shared memories, both recent and in the past. During these discussion there was a phrase that kept coming up…
“Was I there? Did I have fun?”
At first glance, I thought that the time has finally come. My girlfriends and I have now all reached the age where our memory is shit. Yet, the longer I sat and reflected on this phrase, the more I realized that no, our memory wasn’t fading, but “time is speeding up” or better yet, we are all going so fast that everything is blurring together…but gol’ dangit, in the midst of all the confusion, we wanted to make sure we are having fun.
So what do we do about it? It’s not realistic to “slow down”. Not when you are in the throes of raising your family and you have tweens and teenagers that are starting to be involved in things outside the home. We all know that the bottom line is, if you want to be a part of their lives, you have to show up and actively participate in their interests. We also know that all this running around is so short lived and we need to enjoy it while we can. So yes, we are choosing to run frantically after our children.
Yet, I feel I need to create moments that slow down time, and still be able to do everything…. But How?
I think we all need and crave these “moments” of connectiveness. With today’s technology, there is a trend of being really disconnected with people. So whether this “moment” is an out-of-town for the weekend, or grabbing a pint after work or even just 10 minutes at the kitchen counter; we need to prioritize a time where we are really able to enjoy and be present with our friends and family.
For me, this weekend was a great “moment” and reminder, because I was able to really reconnect with people I love and enjoy. Other recent “moment”s, have been as simple as the time I spend in the car schlepping my children from one activity to another. (They are a captive audience in the car, becuase they are trapped like rats!) Our family has even gone as far, as to start “Sunday Funday” this fall. Only our immediate family is allowed and absolutely NO phones. We will either hop in the car and drive to some obscure place and spend the day together, or we hole up at home and watch movies and play games. This is our family’s chance to reconnect once a week.
Another way to stop the frantic pace, of course is mediation…yet that word can be kind of intimidating, at least it is for me. A friend was able to explain recently that meditation doesn’t have to be sitting for 30 minutes. It can be as simple as having a cup of coffee/tea in the morning, before everyone is up, taking a moment to breathing and just be. You can even maybe throw some positive thoughts or intentions out there for the day. That sounds like something I can totally do…IF I can get my dead ass out of bed earlier. (I do love my bed!)
The last way to slow down time is the fun factor. Adding fun to life helps make you want to stay in the moment, at least it does for me. I have been very lucky in life, in that I have been able to surround myself with people who want to have fun. That laughter, love and fun are such an important part of their daily life, that when memory fails…they still want to make sure it happens!
So at the end of each day, I will now ask myself…. “Was I there? Did I have fun?”