Okay, I have to admit when I have done a terrible job at something. Lately it has been the role of wife, daughter, and even “Momma” to my fur-babies.
I have caught myself looking with disgust at my husband when he walks in the room, avoiding personal contact with my live-in father – who seems is doing the same thing to me (could it be a family trait?!?) – and telling my dogs at night when I return home, “No – Go Lay Down, Momma is tired.” Turn that frown upside down….Not so easy.
I’ve fallen into that slump….the little interaction I have with people the better. I sit in an isolated office all day long with just the sound of my acrylic nails typing on the keyboard like Dolly Partner’s nails during the song 9 to 5. Good song by the way. If you haven’t listened to it for a while, have another listen. Ok….FOCUS….When I go home…I am hoping that I am the FIRST one home, allowing me to immediately change into my pajamas, feed the dogs, cook for myself, and then quickly retreat into the bedroom to binge watch some reality show. With the dogs now slumbered in bed beside of me and myself being in my own food-coma while I watch someone on TV either have gastric bypass surgery or one of the home shows where they fix up a home for someone, I am at ease. However, my isolational bliss is often cut too short with the sound of the garage door opening and/or hearing the car door slam….Ugh….I now have to deal with “HIM”. It can be either my father or my husband, doesn’t really matter. Having a verbal conversation and/or expressing interest about their day makes me want to cringe. If I am lucky it is my father, who quickly changes, grooms himself, and disappears into the night with his girlfriend to some smoky Casino. Worst case scenario it is my husband, who like the dogs is so happy to see me, greets me with a smile and kiss, and just wants to enjoy my company. Sad but true, I am not a current fan of such frolicking behavior.
Hopefully writing this down does two things for me. First – admitting I have a problem will surface the raw emotions from within to evoke some sort of self-help mechanism that will breathe more life into me to make the conscious change in my behaviors. Secondly, maybe some other Chix out there is experiencing this and can commiserate with me and guide me through this with some encouragement or fortune cookie like advice.