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Food Porn – It’s A Real Thing

Posted in 1FineChik

“…Ode To Cheese,
Beja and Feta,
In all types of weather.
Ode To Cheese,
For those on a diet,
or trying to get fatter.

Ode To Cheese,
with crackers and wine,
with grapes can flatter.

Ode To Cheese,
when you’re sad and happy,
Cheese just fits ….” Life Poem

Cheese is my Food Porn . . . What’s yours?

As I write this, I specifically recall a distant memory of sitting in my high school health class in 1984. I can still visualize the Ferris Bueller institutionalized classroom setting where I resided in the assigned birch colored all-in-one desk (in desperate need of Lysol wipes BTW). This is the actual place and moment in time where my beautiful red-headed instructor revealed THE HORROR!! She said that the majority of her female students would gain a minimum of 5 pounds every 5 years until they reached old age. Growing up as a young woman in the 80’s, with feminism bleeding out of my pores, I was determined to fight against that kind nonsense talk! I mean really???

I wish I could reveal to you now my brilliant success story . . . but I can’t. Unfortunately, life happened! Thirty plus years creeped up on me and no matter how high I hold my iPhone to snap a selfie, it is hard to hide the reality of those stupid 5 pounds a year! Curses!!

Yet, I have all kinds of excuses . . . childbirth, stress, metabolism, etc. Truthfully those are just symptoms of a looming, much darker and deeper stealthy reality. My foul undisclosed secret, which no one in my family speaks about, at least not directly, is my addiction to Food Porn. It is a true addiction and one that I have not spoken about openly …until now.

The alluring face, smell, and texture of food is everywhere! It is hard to resist with this temptress curling her come-hither finger at you wherever you look! Standing in the grocery store lines, adverting my eyes away from the dripping, lip-licking, mouth-watering cover pages of Food and Wine magazine. Dripping sauces, shimmering chocolate frosting, and for me … melted cheese! Anything with cheese just gets me going. I cannot resist any cheesy delight. Especially when it is hot, silky, fragrant, tender, and flowing.

I tried to give up cheese once. Six months, in fact, and quite proud of this accomplishment. During the duration of the fast, I had incessant day and night dreams of cheese. I would lay in bed and think about how I could just go online without anyone knowing and just look at it. Perhaps a few food magazines under my bed would be ok. No one would know! I would even ask others to order cheesy meals … so I could watch.

Yes, I could be guilty of purchasing a coffee table book of Food Porn. If there were pictures of someone eating dripping cheese from a hamburger, omelet, or yes, a tortilla chip…enough said!!

How did I fall off the wagon? A well-meaning friend gave me just one bite. OMG!!!!! Yep, my brain will not let go of this obsession. I’m doomed!

I have gone to support groups like Weight Watchers, but they actually feed my addiction saying you can have a taste, just in moderation. They also suggest that you record how many times indulge and saver each bite! What is wrong with these people!!

As I prepared for this blog, I found that Food Porn is a real thing. Wikipedia enchants us with their definition as well.

“Food porn is a glamourized spectacular visual presentation of cooking or eating in advertisements, infomercials, blogs[1] cooking shows or other visual media,[2] foods boasting a high fat and calorie content,[3] exotic dishes that arouse a desire to eat or the glorification of food as a substitute for sex.[4] Food porn often takes the form of food photography and styling that presents food provocatively, in a similar way to glamour photography.”or pornographic photography.” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Food_porn

I find I must add this little nugget from the Wikipedia report, just because . . .

“In the United Kingdom, the term became popular in the 1990s due to the TV cookery programme Two Fat Ladies after the shows producer described the “pornographic joy” the pair of them took in using vast quantities of butter and cream.[8]”
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Food_porn

Science indeed confirms that certain foods will also enhance our sexual desires. Foods like olives, oysters, caviar, juicy fruits and dark chocolate. Add that layer to an existing Food Porn addict’s life? We are completely doomed as a class so we might as well enjoy our secret pleasures on occasion.

Life progresses in a blink, 5 pounds a year happens, and life is short. Find your Food Porn and embrace the moment. Chilled or steamy, there is no use fighting it!

So cheese is my Food Porn … What’s yours?

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