Did you ever try to think of something clever to say that makes you sound worldly and interesting and everything you come up with seems boring and lame? I’ve been trying on and off for the past two weeks to come up with a subject for this month’s blog, but I can’t think of a damn thing to write about. So much is going on with work and kids and responsibilities, but nothing seems worthy of writing here. Rather than spew a bunch of nonsense, I thought I would offer my favorite joke, instead. It is a little risqué, so be sure to cover the little ones’ eyes before continuing:
It is Christmas-time and a mailman is making his rounds on a quiet suburban street. He rings the doorbell of the next house on the block and a beautiful woman opens the door, wearing nothing but a short silk robe. The mailman begins to speak, to apologize for obviously catching her at a bad time. She doesn’t say a thing, just puts a finger to his lips and shakes her head as if to quiet him.
She takes him by the hand and leads him into the house and upstairs to the bedroom where they proceed to have the greatest experience of the man’s life. A long while later as she is helping him dress, she slips a folded dollar bill into his shirt pocket, giving his chest a loving pat. They go back downstairs and she opens the door to let him out. She still has not spoken a word.
The mesmerized mailman goes about the rest of his route in a daze, but can’t stop thinking about what has happened. Suddenly he remembers the dollar bill in his pocket. He can’t figure out what it is for and knows that he will not be able to sleep without finding out the answer.
He sheepishly returns to the house and rings the doorbell. The stunning blonde opens the door, now fully dressed, but just as beautiful as before. “Um, excuse me, ma’am, remember me from earlier?” he stammers. “That was amazing and a don’t mean to sound ungrateful, but . . .what was the dollar for?”
In a loud, abrasive voice, the woman spoke for the first time,”Well, when I ask my husband what to give you for a Christmas bonus he said ‘Fuck ‘im, give him a dollar’.”
Thanks for reading, my friends! Talk to you next time.