These are similar, but sometimes the lines between them are blurred.
I thought I was getting the hang of the rules AND expectations for being a good mom and a good wife… I have yet to really “get it” though.
These rules and expectations seem to be ever changing and I can never just be there in that glorious place where I’ve GOT IT!
So let me examine a few of these with you and see where it all falls, I will start with the mom rules – I seem to be MUCH MORE on target here, but not for long…
Moms are supposed to love and nurture, protect and teach. Ok I’ve got that. Well, until it comes to teaching a hard life lesson, then the rules apply, but not expectations. Maybe it is just my kids – and really – to brag a bit, they are pretty good kids – but if a tablet or phone breaks or is outdated and a new great replacement is not provided – well, then I am just not doing what is expected. ALL the other moms get their kids the best tablets (not the cheap ones from Target) and of course, those latest greatest phones are way better than those slow, not enough room for all of my apps iphone 4’s that are working just fine. So, my response is “save your money and get your own phone or tablet. (You have already broken the ones we got for you) Pay for your own service. Then you can have exactly what you want.” Boy – am I a bad mom. ALL the other moms provide that – right…
I do know they love me, but the expectation of GIVING them everything is tiring. What happened to earning what you have? Teaching them that while they are surrounded by a “give me” society it not popular or easy. I fail here a lot!
Now the wife rules and expectations are a lot more difficult to navigate for me as they are always changing it seems. I have trouble keeping up.
As a wife, I am supposed to love, honor and cherish. Ok. Some days that is really easy – others not so much.
I am supposed to keep the kitchen and house clean, but also sit on the couch and watch baseball. I am supposed to keep myself fit and presentable and still have time to prepare yummy meals and work and taxi kids all while accommodating others working schedules. I have to know where everyone is, where they need to be, what they will need and try to keep my head on straight. Then be a loving, serving and wanting to be snuggled wife when I get home. I try to be all those things. I struggle. I want to just get it all right. This too, is tiring.
I want to know the rules and prepare for them. I think I have them, then POOF! Slightly altered ones appear. I do get it right on occasion.
I do have to remember that I really am lucky – most of the time. My kids love me. My husband does too. Regardless of my appearance, he still says he thinks I am sexy – to him. That matters, and I should listen.
So then I have to think again about all these rules and expectations… Whose are they really and where do they come from? My kids? My husband? The world?
I may need to take a look in the mirror and adjust what I see. Maybe then I will be able to unblur those lines between rules and expectations I HAVE imposed and embrace with gratitude all that I really and fortunate enough to have.