This is actually a letter I sent out in 2010. I had planned to revise it, as so much has changed since then, but I liked the feeling I got while reading it – so I left it alone. Perhaps later this month, I’ll reflect on the thoughts, questions, and confessions I acquired over the past six years. Perhaps not.
Happy Mother’s Day
This letter goes out to all my fellow mothers and those who have supported us along the way. I think my favorite quote of all time is by Elizabeth Stone. She says, “This decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” Isn’t that the truth? As I’ve said many times, motherhood is the coolest (and scariest) thing I have ever done. There is a whole part of my heart I never knew existed until my son came along and just when I think I can’t love him more – I do. With that being said, it is also the most demanding job I have ever known. Most days I feel as if I’ve failed miserably. And while there are many who could do it better, none could love him more. And I believe that’s what matters most.
So in honor of our special day, here are some thoughts, questions, and confessions of an imperfect mother.
- I always wanted to start my own mom’s group – Moms Who Drink & Swear and Those Who Don’t Judge Them – but I could never come up with a good acronym.
- The best advice I ever received was to never read a parenting magazine. Like beauty magazines, they will only leave you feeling inadequate and insecure.
- Never judge another mother. We are all in this together – doing the best we can.
- When it comes to laundry, there are degrees of dirty. There are many days my son has gone to school in clothes saved by a few sprays of Febreeze and ten minutes in the dryer.
- Likewise, there were nights that a leaky diaper did not occasion clean sheets. A big, soft bath towel works fine till morning.
- Breakfast for dinner is perfectly acceptable.
- In a Tooth Fairy panic, I once stole change out of my son’s pocket. Only to come in the next morning to him sounding out the words “No Cash Value”. Damn those Peter Piper Pizza tokens.
- But bless Peter Piper Pizza for serving beer.
- I admit – I think baby teeth are way cuter than permanent teeth.
- And while I’m on the topic of teeth – at what age do I quit reminding him to brush his teeth? Can he not feel the tartar sweaters knit across them? I swear you could mortar a brick wall with the plaque.
- NyQuil has many uses.
- It’s amazing how many things a mother learns on the way to school. And, no, you didn’t tell me about it last night.
- With that said, I once packed my son’s lunch while inside Fry’s. I used a grocery bag and a frozen bag of peas to keep it cold. In his words, “Mom, that’s a tough trade.”
- There are days when the call “Mooommm” is equally as painful as nails on a chalkboard.
- The smell of dirty feet carries. Far.
- I not only taught my son the word damn. He also dropped his first “F-bomb” after I said it under my breath. Their hearing is too acute.
There are many more, but some are better left unwritten. They are best shared over a glass (or bottle) of wine. My second favorite quote is by Rajneesh. “The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.” And while I don’t do it perfectly, I do it completely. And I am thankful every single day that I get the chance to.
I hope you all have a wonderful day.
All my love,