I’ve decided the next time someone starts talking to me about politics, I’m going to ask them how they feel about blow jobs or maybe even anal sex.
I mean, why not?
It appears there is no topic off limits anymore.
There used to be a time when you simply didn’t discuss politics, religion or sex. It was rude, distasteful. I miss those times.
Admittedly, as a young girl, I didn’t get it. I remember asking a family friend who they were going to vote for in the upcoming Presidential election. The room became awkwardly silent and my mom told me it wasn’t polite to ask such questions. Later I asked her why. “Because those are very personal topics for people and they don’t feel comfortable sharing with others – especially in a crowd,” she explained. I still didn’t understand why it would make someone uncomfortable, but I did understand that it did – and that’s all that mattered really. I never wanted to feel that awkwardness again.
As I got older, I started to understand more and more. I think it really sunk in when we moved to a small, rural town that was predominantly Mormon. Being a non-Mormon, I was acutely aware I was different. There were those friends who liked to ask questions about my faith. What religion was I? Did I go to church? What did I believe? They were not being rude – they were simply curious. Yet, it made me terribly uncomfortable. I always felt I was being judged. I didn’t want them to know how my family spent our Sundays or what I thought happened to us after we died. I didn’t want them to put me in a category different from them. I wanted to be liked for who I was not what I believed.
Thankfully, there were the friends who didn’t press, who understood it made me uncomfortable to be asked, who liked me regardless of my religion. To this day, those friends are some of my dearest. There is an unspoken agreement to just not go there. It’s not that it would cause a problem or put a strain on our friendship – there’s just no reason to. Our friendship exists outside of religion, so there’s no need to bring religion into it.
I think the same should be true for politics. I do not base my friendships on a person’s political views. I base it on the kindness they’ve shown me over the years, the good times we’ve enjoyed together, the common memories we share. I base it on how they’ve touched my heart. And, the heart is no place for politics. There are many friends with whom I strongly disagree – but they will never know. Nor should they. But, the bigger issue is, I shouldn’t even know there is a disagreement. Just like I shouldn’t know what they did in the bedroom last night. Some things just aren’t my business.
So the next time someone asks me how I feel about Trump or Hillary, I’m going to look them straight in the eye and say, “OK, but first tell me about your last great blow job or if you’ve ever had it up the ass.”
“What? Too personal? Make you uncomfortable?”