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Author archive for: justachik1

You Can’t Make This Shit Up

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Last weekend, I spent time with family I hadn’t seen in several months. The stories were plentiful and, oh, so entertaining. They produced the kind of laughs that left my abs feeling like I’d worked out and more than a few deep, unexpected snorts. At one point, the narrator stopped and said, “No, I am 100% serious. You can’t make this shit up.” To which several others in the room vouched for her – both the story and the statement. She finished by saying, “We’ve decided to make that this year’s motto because just when you think you’ve seen it…

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Hoarding Whore

Posted in justachik1

I’m not even sure when it happened.  I always swore I wasn’t.  But, gradually, over the years, more and more things accumulated.  And, then suddenly, one day I took a step outside of myself and looked around. “Holy fuck! I have a lot of shit.” Over the past three years, I have moved twice and there’s a third move in the relatively near future.  I do not want to move this stuff again.  I can’t.  I think I need help. I know I’m not alone in this.  Hell, there’s even a show dedicated to it.  I also know I’m not…

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Life Is A Sport

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So I don’t know if it’s the moon phase, my hormones or just this time of year, but I’m overly emotional these days.  You know the days?  When every little thing makes you a little weepy?  Yesterday, I had two episodes.  One was just an incredibly sweet story about a husband and wife and the lengths they go for one another.  The other was a damn commercial.  Yes, a commercial. In my defense, it was during the Olympics and I was already on emotional overload watching those athletes continue to demonstrate all that’s good about sports and teamwork and life.…

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Politics, Religion & Sex

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I’ve decided the next time someone starts talking to me about politics, I’m going to ask them how they feel about blow jobs or maybe even anal sex. I mean, why not? It appears there is no topic off limits anymore. There used to be a time when you simply didn’t discuss politics, religion or sex.  It was rude, distasteful.  I miss those times. Admittedly, as a young girl, I didn’t get it.  I remember asking a family friend who they were going to vote for in the upcoming Presidential election.  The room became awkwardly silent and my mom told me…

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Happy Mother’s Day

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This is actually a letter I sent out in 2010. I had planned to revise it, as so much has changed since then, but I liked the feeling I got while reading it – so I left it alone. Perhaps later this month, I’ll reflect on the thoughts, questions, and confessions I acquired over the past six years. Perhaps not. Happy Mother’s Day This letter goes out to all my fellow mothers and those who have supported us along the way. I think my favorite quote of all time is by Elizabeth Stone. She says, “This decision to have a child is…

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Thank You, Prince

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I’ve been mesmerized by Prince since I was 13. I remember watching Purple Rain over and over again – just as fast as that tape could rewind, I’d hit play. At the time, I was too young to comprehend what sex appeal meant – but looking back that’s exactly why I was enthralled. It’s There was something about him I couldn’t get enough of. In the teenage vernacular of the times, I probably used words like fine or babe because that’s how teens account for attraction. It wasn’t until I was older that I realized his appeal had very little…

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Confessions Of A Stalker

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I wish I could say 30chix had noble beginnings, but I cannot. In truth, it is the illegitimate child of jealousy and insecurity – conceived during the dark hours of night when the good and righteous people of the world are sleeping. It was conceived while I stalked. Yes, it’s true. My name is justachik1 and I’m a stalkohilic. My last view of her profile was twelve days ago. There. I’ve said it. Aloud. I’ve admitted I have a problem. That’s the first step, right? It started innocently enough. It was an occasional glance at her Facebook posts. Then a…

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Just A Chick

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Recently, I was harshly reminded I am, in fact, just a chick. It’s one thing to call myself that yet secretly hope – even believe – I’m more. That I’m not just one in six billion. It’s quite another to be forced to accept I am one of many. An interchangeable part. Replaceable. There is nothing I do that can’t be done by a dozen others. Afterall, I’m just a chick. There are more where I come from. And that hurts – both my heart and my ego. I am still painfully and deliberately chewing this morsel in hopes of swallowing…

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The Game of Traffic

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Dear Slow Car in the Fast Lane, You are a hazard. Yes, you. I openly acknowledge you have every right to be there. In fact, I admire your law-abiding ways. I applaud you for being the only car in thousands to obey the posted traffic signs But please let me applaud you as you move to the right and allow me to pass on the left. That’s how it works. Have you never been on a moving sidewalk? Why do you insist on clogging up the left lane? My guess? You think you’re doing the right thing. After all, speed…

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The Mighty Tequila

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Some things command more respect than others. There’s summiting K2 and then there’s summiting Mount Everest.  Both are major accomplishments.  Both are impressive.  But there’s no denying Mount Everest garners more respect. The same is true for alcohol.  There’s shooting six shots of whiskey and then there’s shooting six shots of tequila.  Both are impressive feats.  However, there is something different about tequila.  There just is. I don’t believe in magic potions, but tequila makes me wonder.  What is it about that blue agave that makes normal functioning adults turn into temporary psychopaths?   We’ve all heard and/or told our…

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