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Category archive for: ChickNorris29

Dancing with Myself

Posted in ChickNorris29

I have this little habit, no one really knows because I’m always alone when it happens. Especially when my boyfriend falls asleep and I’m not tired yet. This was actually brought to my attention recently, with Prince’s passing, when I realized it was a secret habit. I dance with myself. I know what you are thinking……that’s lame, everyone dances blah blah blah. NO. I turn on music, sometimes music videos, and either learn the dances or make them up. Or I pretend Ricky Martin (just to name one) is flirtatiously chasing me around and I dance with him. Alone. And…

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Silicone Valley

Posted in ChickNorris29

Southern California can be a difficult place to grow up for a chick. The weather is great and everyone hangs out at the beach all year. Pool parties and lake parties and river parties are always going on, and girls always in bikinis. As I got older, I realized how many of those girls had big fake boobs………and although some of them looked good (Not ALL of them) I vowed NEVER to get fake boobs. The naturally beautiful girls always rocked my world, and I was always proud to remain “natural.” Now bear with my on my rant about small…

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Cirque Du Tequila

Posted in ChickNorris29

Going back to December on this one, I want to make a shout out to justachik1’s blog on “the Mighty Tequila.” That shit’s no joke. Not long ago I was the maid of honor in my cousin’s wedding in Cancun. If you have ever been a maid of honor and had to make a dreaded speech in front of everyone, you can understand my immediate need for tequila after it was over. The anxiety was lifted and I was free to drink a little too much the day after….no more maid of honor duties! So, I went to the bar…

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Raunchy American Girl

Posted in ChickNorris29

After reading justachik1’s post on stinky hoohas, this is the first story that came to my mind. You are right justachik1…..the struggle is real. This story takes place several years ago. I was backpacking through Eastern Africa for three months with a handsome British, David Beckham with deadlocks lookalike whom I met on a topless beach in Greece several months prior. We decided to rent a house on an island for a few weeks with two other friends we met there and “David Beckham” and I got the biggest room to accommodate our lovely shag sessions. Jealous? I thought I…

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Watch out, she’s a runner!

Posted in ChickNorris29

It’s been a rough month. I know life goes in waves and sometimes you take a big dip before you can raise back up, but I am at an all-time dip. I do it to myself. My problem is, I’m a “runner”. I love change to the point that I am addicted to it and if there is nothing on the horizon, I usually run to something else. Change has always been easier than sticking with something that just doesn’t do it for me. Maybe it’s that I’m always searching for meaning, but that sounds so cheesy. Looking for more…

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Sleep Farts and Other Inconveniences

Posted in ChickNorris29

Girls don’t fart. That’s how it’s been since I’ve been with the old man, even though I’m pretty sure he doesn’t care. I’ve never been able to do it in front of a boyfriend. Some couples are pretty free with that kind of stuff, even you creepy couples who poop in front of each other (you know who you are) but I could never, ever, cut one in front of him. Well, not on purpose. I’m a classy lady, obviously. It gets harder and harder to hide the fact that, sometimes girls are gross too. He found a box of…

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The Dojo and the Douchebag

Posted in ChickNorris29

I wanted to share this story that made me giggle (and cringe) when I picked the name, ChickNorris. This was at a time in my life when I first started to realize how much I suck at being a chick. Don’t judge…. Have you ever been set up on a blind date by a really good friend, only to realize you have no idea what the hell they were thinking?! Well, I was immediately offended when I was introduced to “Dan” who was a karate instructor and ran his own studio. What is the female to male term for a…

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